One Sly Kurosaki
by shirayuki55
Summary: Parenting is no easy task. Ichigo learns that the hard way, when his little girl tricks him into something that just might be the end of him later.


AN

I thought I'd be nice and give you the translations beforehand. So, Mika means New Moon and Mamoru means guardian. Also, just in case I forget to mention this later, Mika is four and Mamoru is one. Lol, this story was inspired by my author frienemy Tsukiakari no ha's new fic Soap.

Disclaimer-I own my created characters. Take that Tite!

One Sly Kurosaki

Mika Kurosaki awoke from her nap feeling hungry. But not just hungry for anything. She desired the sweet taste of chocolate. So, what better to eat than some chocolate chip cookies.

Unfortunately for her, she inherited the short gene from her mother and was unable to reach the cabinet they were kept in. The only thing she could do now was go ask one of her parents. Doning her favorite pair of bunny slippers, she padded across the hall to her little brother's room. She found her Mommy struggling to change Mamoru into a clean onesie. He had the same raven-black hair as his mom and had his father's amber eyes, which were currently lit with a spark of mischief. The toddler was making her job next to imposible by continuously waving and kicking his little chubby arms and legs.

"Mamoru!" Rukia cried out in exasperation as one of his little appendages just missed smacking her in the face. "Please stay still so I can put your clothes on." She was almost begging him, but she was desperate. "No!" The little boy seemed to be having fun aggravating her with his little game. Sighing, Rukia began to stuff him into the jumper with renewed vigor, determined to win against the one-year-old. "Mommy."

Rukia turned her head to glance at her daughter which proved to be a big mistake. Mamoru took the opportunity to wiggle his little arm free of the sleeve that she'd just managed to stuff him in. "What is it, Mika?" Rukia asked tiredly. ?Can I have some cookies?" Rukia shook her head. "Sweetie, you know that dinner is in an hour. It would spoil your appetite." Mika pouted. "But Mom-" "Mika I said no."

Frowning, Mika left the room. But there was still hope. Oh yes, there was definitely still hope. Mika had inherited many things from Rukia. Besides the fact that she was a carbon copy of her mother with raven-black hair and violet eyes, she also loved Chappy and was a good actress. Not to mention a total Daddy's girl.

She was very aware of the power she held over her father without even trying. It really payed to look exactly like the woman he so dearly loved. Which made it even harder for him to deny her anything. Mika smiled to herself and headed downstairs where she knew she would find her Daddy. Ichigo was perched on the couch, his attention devided between a sheath of papers he was flipping through and a sports game on the TV.

Mika put on her best innocent face and sat on Ichigo's lap. "Hi Daddy," she chirped sweetly. He ruffled her locks affectionately. "Hey, Princess. What are you up to?" "Nothing. But I am a bit hungry." "Well, Mommy should have dinner ready soon," he reassured her. "I know. But do you think-" She turned to face him and gave him her best puppy dog eyes. "-maybe I could have a few cookies?"

He eyed her for a moment, but any suspicions he might have had quickly evaporated. How could he say no to those eyes? "Sure thing, Princess. Let's go." She squealed in delight as he carried her into the kitchen and placed her at the table. He reached up into the cabinet and got out the prized package of chocolate chip cookies.

"Yay!" Mika squealed in delight as he heaped five cookies onto a napkin and placed them in front of her. "Thank you, Daddy!" He returned her happy smile. "No problem." He sat down next to her and took a cookie for himself. They munched in silence for a few minutes until they heard footsteps.

Rukia appeared in the doorway holding Mamoru, who was finally dressed in the jumper. She looked much happier than she had previously because of this. But Mika wasn't fooled. She knew a storm was about to come. "Oh, there you guys are!" Rukia chirped, placing Mamoru in his high chair. As she turned to face them, the two remaining cookies on Mika's napkin caught her eye.

"Mika!" she snapped, bending down to her daughter's eye level. "Didn't I tell you no cookies?" "Yes, but-" "But what?" Mika gulped. "Daddy said I could!" she burst out. Rukia turned her fiery violet gaze to her husband. "Is that true?" She asked the question with deadly calm, but her face betrayed her.

Now it was Ichigo's turn to gulp. "Well... yeah." A vein bulged on Rukia's forehead and her eyebrows twitched. "Why would you want to ruin our daughter's appetite?! You know damn well that dinner is almost ready!" She usually made an effort not to curse in front of the kids, but her slip told Ichigo just how pissed she was. "Sorry. I just didn't think a couple of cookies was that big of a deal." His calm seemed to infuriate her even more. "You idiot! And after I specifically told her she couldn't have any! You never think, do you?! You should have ASKED ME FIRST!"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know I had to consult you everytime I wanted to spoil our daughter?" Mika cringed. She knew well what was about to happen. Mamoru giggled. "Silly Daddy!" Silly Daddy indeed. Rukia's face contorted with rage and before anyone could blink, she was on him, raining down a storm of violent kicks and punches. Mika say idly by, munching her remaining cookies as if her father wasn't getting the snot beat of him because of her while Mamoru laughed and clapped, almost cheering Rukia on.

A moment later, Ichigo lay bruised and unconscious on the kitchen floor, still twitching. "Bastard," Rukia sneered, nudging him with her foot as she passed him on her way to check on their food. Suddenly, she turned back around to regard her daughter. "Mika." Said girl snapped to attention, afraid she was next. "Yes Mommy," she said feebly. Violet met violet. The way Rukia was looking at her made Mika think that she was about to get in trouble. But apparently Rukia decided to let it go; for now. "Go wash up. Dinner's almost ready." Mika breathed a small sigh of relief. "Okay Mommy." She scampered away before she could change her mind. Mika decided to be on her very best behavior for the rest of the night, just to be safe.

;;;;;;;;;;;;

Ichigo groaned. His shins hurt, his back hurt, his face hurt; basically everything hurt. And all because of some damn cookies, his big mouth, his wife's temper, and let's not forget, his sly little daughter. Why was it always him? With a grunt of pain, Ichigo pushed himself up off the cold kitchen floor and looked around.

"Holy shit," Ichigo gasped, looking at the clock. It read 12-00. He'd been knocked out for five hours. How in the hell was that even posible? "Never underestimate maternal rage," he mumbled to himself. Leaving the kitchen he headed towards his room. He would deal with his little "princess" in the morning.

Arriving at their bedroom he tried to turn the knob, only to find it locked. No way. Rukia had locked him out! He didn't want to disturb the kids but... oh to hell with the kids. "RUKIA!" Ichigo bellowed, banging on the door. "Let me in, woman!" "Go away," Rukia yelled at him sleepily.

"Dammit Rukia, this is my room too," Ichigo protested. "Not tonight. You'll find some sheets and a pillow on the couch for you. Your lucky I gave you even that. Now goodnight, strawberry." But Ichigo wouldn't give up. He kept up his banging for five more minutes until Rukia lost her cool. "SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE YOU WAKE MAMORU!" Ichigo stopped with a wince. That son of his was very cranky if he was woken up in the middle of the night.

Admitting defeat, Ichigo trudged into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. How did his day go so wrong so quickly? All he'd wanted to do was make his daughter happy. So how did he end up in this position? As he drifted off to sleep, Ichigo ingrained the lesson he'd learned today deep within his mind. Always, ALWAYS ask Rukia first. But his pride as a man wouldn't allow him to do that, at least not everytime. So he learned another lesson. If he wasn't going to ask his wife for permission, then for the love of God, LEARN TO HIDE IT BETTER.

AN

That might have been the shortest thing I've ever written. But it was certainly one of the funest. Anyway, review pretty pretty please.


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